You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
The twins are whispering in turkish together. I think I did something bad last night.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
He should be castrated
Nah he might accidentally come while they're cutting it off. Wouldn't be fair to the surgeons
I am drunk please bring Taco Bell and sex
Never mind I found pizza just bring sex
I don't send those kind of pictures unless the recipient has already been up close and personal with it. I don't give previews, but I will provide recaps.
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I haven't gotten dressed in 4 days. God bless you, unemployment.
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
Randomize
