so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
oh i have no idea about his personality. i imagine it's the same as it was- except now combined with a receding hairline and a beer gut
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
Became best friends with the hotdog stand creeper outside the bar. Cried and told him my feet hurt too much to walk home then begged him to hire me.
There was a note in my hello kitty underwear telling me "don't go over 9000"
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
Dude, I just had the best sex of my life in a porta potty at the NCAA girls lax championships but didn't get her name or number. But I have her sunglasses. How is this possible, I'm sad.
I love your life.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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