Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
Just did a kegstand with my dad. Happy fathers day.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Just visited the liquor store.... for the 4th time today. shits gonna get weird
what compelled you to fill her bra with pudding and freeze it in the first place?
i might remember if i didn't get knocked out with it later that day.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I was singing Colors of the Wind and swigging vodka and still felt like more of an adult.
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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