It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
she's 6'2. you bet your ass i slept with her.
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