u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Just missed the last train for another 5 hours. There are balls in or around the mouth of my life.
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Your life is quite full of dick lately.
It really is!
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
I just found vampire teeth and a moustache in my purse. do you know why?
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
Nothing says “I spent too much in Vegas” quite like eating a jar of pickles for dinner and planning on cream of celery soup for breakfast tomorrow.
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