I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Stop. You don't mean that. Tequila might mean that. But you don't mean that.
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
You want a summary? Scottish women that start drinking at 7 am. Cherries soaked in moonshine. Japanese beer. Old men smoking stuff that I'm pretty sure is illegal here and in Japan. One is doing a karaoke striptease. There's your summary.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Sorry I sent you a video of a singing reverend last night, I was really high.
I'm dedicating this beer to drunk texting
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
I'M OFFICIATING THIS WEDDING. HOLY SHIT.
Randomize
