So much for the toy store...Not a butt plug in the entire place. See you tonight.
I always have to poop after I paint my nails. It never fails.
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I just power smoked 3 bongs, ate hot cocoa mix before making hot cocoa, and realized James Spader's character on The Office reminds me of your mom.
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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