More tranny stories later!
she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
He just made me a heart out of cocaine... i think i'm in love
I just puked while everyone was releasing balloons. Im to hungover for this memoial service. Rest in peace great gramps.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
As punishment for throwing up on my car, I am holding your phone hostage until the morning. You can read this message after I drop it off.
No sexy Asian girl. No comfy bed. I'm just gonna lie here in the hall next to the garbage can until someone comes home.
My ex just sent me a message asking if she could blow me, but only if we get caught by her new bf. If she promises to swallow I'm doing it.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
you're the only girl i know who can be too sick to walk to the kitchen and still have enough game to receive multiple orgasms
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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