Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
I just saw some girl with the liscense plate "OBVIII"...I never wanted to get in a car accident so badly.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
Want to get high and go thrifting? I'm trying to succeed making my dorm look like a deranged Applebees.
Someone had Captain Morgan and orange juice at the same moment I lost my hangover and I just had to give it a try.
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
Look, if this is a cop, just lemme know that Mike is ok. Fuckin all star game
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
