I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
Jesus knows you're telling a lie.
Jesus stopped reading my text messages when I started drunk texting boys to hookup
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I forgot I did whipits. Probably because my brain cells were killed from the whipits
I told her I wanted to use him as a chew toy while simultaneously licking his face.
Did she tell him? And if so, was he cool with it? If yes, date him, date the fuck outta him.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
So were driving two hours to go to a club and Charles packed me a sippy cup full of tequila. He thinks of everything!
Randomize
