I will die if light touches me.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I puked in the cab and in my hair and he didnt even know
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
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