i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
Note to self. Condoms are not microwavable.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
Every concussion has its silver lining
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
I miss using glorious as an adjective. I'm gonna start doing that again. And I'm gonna try to get cuntatrosphe in there some more, too.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
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