So I just went home and made my own spanx by cutting the legs off of a pair of nylons. I'm either a genius or missed my calling to live in a trailer park.
My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
I need all the beers. I want to be holding on to the grass so I don't fall off the earth drunk.
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
