Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
Today I learned you can't titshake with a corset on.
I HAVE MY OWN TITS FOR THAT AND I CAN GUARANTEE THAT THEYRE MORE GLORIOUS
she never specifically said NOT to fuck her boyfriend so technically we can still be best friends
Well its kinda hard to gift wrap an orgasm
Dick in a box?
I totally accidentally said "we don't go around hammering girls in the rear" in front of 132 5th graders today.
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
I came home in someone else's underwear this morning
Atleast you got a souvenir
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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