dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
THEY DIDN'T THROW MY PORN AWAY!!!!
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
Randomize
