So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
This just in: Jon Gosselin's address-The Alexandra. I bet if we showed up he'd date us.
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
Well the "Blackout with your sack out" party turned out predictably.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I have already put on my inside pants.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
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