So I hogged the stall at Denny's for so long that a little kid shit his pants and ran crying to his mother. Am I a terrible person for this being the proudest moment of my life?
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Yes sir I did. I'll be there with a guest. And no, my date won't be an escort.
Well if that changes tell the escort to bring cocaine.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
