I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
Found myself carrying 2 bottles of .89 euro wine about half a mile to where im staying. and someone stopped me and spoke to english. apparently, i reek of drunk american.
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
You disappeared for an hour and showed back up with handfuls of bratwursts and yelled at my girlfriend that if she didn't eat them, that the nazis win
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Currently googling hangover cures, which looks a lot like working from the perspective of my boss.
I had a rough night. I'm just gonna lay here and masturbate for a while before I have to go adult.
Last thing I remember I was riding on a picnic table being hauled around by a lawn mower with an empty case of bud light on my head...
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
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