Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
Its mothers day, andI woke up with 12 bar stamps on my face, holding orange juice and a box of tampons. This can not be happening
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
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