Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
Isn't the perk of being in a relationship not having to put in effort for sex?
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
I'm handling the NHL draft worse than getting dumped this week
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize
