Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
Omg. I have a story to tell you later about that girl that just crawled on stage
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
I just gave a bum a ride back to his bench. Columbus is weird but I like it.
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Why I hate online dating: not even one day in and a 57 year old asks me to call him "Daddy."
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Does going to a local bar count as taking part in Small Business Saturday? Asking for a friend
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
Fuck the system, do you have any medieval weapons?
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