i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I climbed up on the tank of the toilet so I could take a slo-mo vid of myself pissing into the garbage can, but the base of the toilet shattered and I had to bail.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
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