I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
I got really high and googled the history of Amish people for like an hour.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
We could have mediocre awkward sex or mediocre stunted/awkward/uncomfortable banter. The possilities are relatively finite
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
I rewired his car so that every time he hits the gas the horn and the OnStar turn on every time he hits the brake the panic alarm goes off.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
Randomize
