If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
I've hit an all time low I just sent a boob pict to fat Randall the one I gave a partial bj to a year a a half ago
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
She said she's different now I guess anytime you get a bible tatt it automatically cancels out all the whoring you did for 10 years
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
Not only did I sleep with the guy but I think I may have called my work and quit to go work for him.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
Who told you he won a fight? He slammed his face into the ground while trying to do 11 push-ups
He passed out with his shoes on 20 minutes till midnight, and I didn't have a sharpie so I took the cheese whiz and filled his exposed ass crack.
Randomize
