so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
The car just stinks of weed and we are all sitting here trying to hide it from my mom by rolling down the windows, like it's not coming off my sisters boyfriend
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Yeah, everything was going great until the mugging.
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
Randomize
