After last night, I could never be a politician.
Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Recent Google searches: "babu kangarooz"... "why 2 tacos bell" and "is dinosaur in real life"
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
I've never heard of anyone celebrating the holidays with a fuck buddies family before.
....I'll be expecting my trophy when I return.
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
the fact that I can still put my shoes on is a testament to the fact that I can outdrink these bros
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
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