Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
He took a banana and in front of everyone showed her how he wanted it done.
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You drank everything last night. It was like this huge deconstructed long island that went on for 5 hours
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
Randomize
