mmmm my 21st bday fucking sucks all my best friends are pregnant...selfish assholes. they just couldnt wait til after my bday.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
We should tie ourselves together anytime there is any type of alcohol involved. It's the safest way. I either end up with freshmen or weird ex bfs. You end up with a large cowboy. This is not good for us
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
I had a dream I gave a blow job to a guy whose dick forked off into two. I'm going to spend the rest of my life confused.
As if I wouldn't steal Nintendo brand "Mario is my HOMEBOY!" boxers when he gave me the entire drawer to choose from.
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
You peed all over his floor and had a bottle popped in your ass when you passed out. Don't tell me I'm "still living in my college days"
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize
