If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
why would she cut her hair? she needs all the distractions possible from those texas-sized gums and horse teeth.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Yeah. I've decided no relationship can survive me shoving my boobs in the guys face
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
