I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
Mom chose Thanksgiving to tell me the reason I am here is because she was too tired to give my dad a BJ and too drunk to make him pull out.
You are like the only girl I know who tells their booty call to go find another girl just cause you want more sleep.
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
