this wart on my finger ripped off while i was fingering this girl the other night. she thought she had gotten her period and started crying so i went with. its better for both of us that way
Tonight i am praying for god to turn my pussy into apple pie because i cant count the number of times bruce chooses food over sex.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
how was your day?
fuck the small talk. are you bringing the liquor tonight or am i?
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
At our floor meeting the RA was talking about bathroom hygiene and I really wanted to be like "what about shower sex."
Valid question
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
"Yeah because the first thing I think of when I hear the word college is tear gas."
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
She said she hasn't cheated on me in 7 and a half days and she'd like praise for that.
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
Randomize
