batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The frequency that you give me blue balls couldn't be healthy.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
I'm supposed to be studying for finals but all I can think about is blowing him on a sea doo this summer
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
I woke up in a strange bathroom. Was I blonde when you left me last night?
We smoked with this guy who looked just like Hyde from that 70's show in an alley. It was a divine moment in my life.
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
you found yr lighter in yr cleavage and said so that's where you've been all my life
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
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