I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
On another note, convinced a 9 year old my hickey was actually a zombie bite.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
he puked in the sink and didnt turn off the water before he passed out on the bathroom floor. its been 2 hrs and we finally noticed that the whole fucking house is flooded. to hell with this birthday party
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
My six-margarita-deep ass just used a blow torch to light the match that lit my bong pack. Peak single 🤦🏼♀️
Could be all of this cough syrup, but I’m ready to fuck 2018 up!
I'm very disappointed that your kitten almost ate my weed cake...
We walked around last night for hours saying nothing but nom nom nom and barking at each other.
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