i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
I'm sorry I dragged a dildo (on a leash) into your room last night.
josh has a chalupa in his pocket if you're hungry.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
It's just my hair. It brings natural happiness. Like goldfish, big boobs, and milkshakes.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
We were sitting in a hot tub debating how drunk we could get by osmosis if we kept spilling our drinks in it. This is what engineering college does to you.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Randomize
