It's a beautiful day for a hangover
He did a double fist pump when he discovered the Magnums fit and skipped back towards the bed.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
The Wii Fit is already telling me I'm an alcoholic.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Pre-chapter meeting quote: "Why is there a bun literally taped to the shelf? That doesn't even make sense when you're drunk, who does that?"
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
Totally just made a post sex emergency cupcake run. My life is awesome.
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Drunk is not a location!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Randomize
