if you are receiving this text, you are one of the people i hate
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Just saw a drunk guy clapping and cheering for a chipmunk climbing up a tree. Classic
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
I went down on her for 35 minutes and didn't even get a handy. I've never felt more desire to be gay in my life.
You're worse than that girl who made out with her cousin at that party
That was you...
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Had to admit my broken elbow was caused by vodka, not hockey
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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