fyi, if youre wondering if offering a female police officer sexual favors will get you out of a ticket, the answer is no.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
Srsly this has gone to far. Just broke my nose on the toilet. College bars.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
Between the hair pulling and the choking its its more like combat than sex
Sorry I have an "Operation Iraqi Freedom" fantasy
Feel like I died but someone put me In a human microwave and I got back to life.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Well my summer started by me waking up in a tube on the side of the pond this morning with 2 of my friends. So that's good..
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Randomize
