it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
You look me right in the eyes and yelled "By the power of the superglue beer sword, I designate you my driver!" I almost felt honored.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
They made up a new version of "Smash or Pass" called "I would(n't) let you sit on my face" to yell at the freshman
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
my sex drive just dried up, fell out, and is rolling on the floor somewhere.
Next time you decide to go downstairs hungover, please warn me. I now have to explain to twenty eight year olds why you were naked.
We were talking about kinky shit, and I suggested a hand job in church.
How'd that go over?
Praise the lord and pass the lotion.
Randomize
