she's like the human form of herpes, as soon as you think she's gone for good you have another out break.
I knew I had to get an abortion when his toddler sister came up to hug my leg and I kicked her off saying, "Get off, fucker."
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
in the past 3 nights i've fucked a millionaire, a drug dealer and a civil engineer... i dont really have a "type" anymore
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
You'll be like the drunk Paul Bunyan someday with a giant grey cat
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Randomize
