question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I woke up to a bunch of college seniors jacking off a horse in my face. Geuss who didnt move in time?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
An attempt at squeezing a tomato to make a bloody mary just says desperation all over it....
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
I agree though, his intact virginity is truly the tragedy of the century.
Kings cup with teenagers tonight
Done deal
My parents just told me that if I stop drinking I could do something great with my life...
They obliviously haven't seen you dance on top of a pool table then
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
I'm trying to cause a divorce, your hooking up with a felon, I think we need Jesus.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
Randomize
