Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
Hey I think I found part of your tooth next to your wine bottle in the floor board of my car.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
You just sent me a picture of a federal crime. Like. You don't give a fuck.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
saw a dude wearin soccer cleats at the bar tonight. fuckin kiddin me man?
fries before guys. food before dudes. shakes before dates. chips before dicks. lemon bars before football stars. macaroni before screwin' tony. what i'm saying is please come to ladies' night
There's a cute bearded guy at this brew fest wearing a kilt and selling mead
TELL HIM ABOUT MY DOWRY!!!
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
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