pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I'm high and I have a consensual booty call on the way and just thought that it was a good time to let you know that I think that you are a stellar person.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
MIDGETS
????
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
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