well i was about to unbutton his pants but then i realized they had an elastic waste-band, so no, that didnt happen
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Disregard that. She just puked into her boot and started screaming.
It looks alright. The blow up doll is in the microwave, and she has forks in her ass
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
It takes a special friend to go vibrator shopping with
Yes. It does.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
