I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
Randomize
