hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
she was in the bathroom washing her eye makeup off with hand sanitizer.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
New low, passed out while taking a shit for an hour with my parents home, suprised they didnt notice
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
I'm going to teach Troy such valuable life lessons. Yesterday I told him to stay away from girls who drink redbull and vodkas.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
He was going down on me and all I could think about was how proud of me you'd be
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
the weird part wasn't waking up in someone else's underwear, it was how the cat was staring at me like he knew more about last night then i remembered.
Randomize
