look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
I know it's early but when you wake up can you please validate my life and tell me I'm not just a drunk idiot.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
When you trip so hard that you can see your friends thoughts through their pupils.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
