If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
i made it my goal to pee in the sink of every apartment we went to last night. i didnt use the toilet once
the only time i'm productive on weed is when i drink.
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
You told me I got kicked out of the bar for lipping off to the bouncers... what shocked me the most was that I made it to the bar
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Randomize
