Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
Trying to low-key throw up in the ocean is harder than it seems.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
We should discuss this later when sobriety has returned. Right now he's just like a distant cousin.
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
