Quick, to the slutcave!
Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
she asked if she could keep her bee antennas on during her mugshot. i love halloween.
No. Please No. At first it was cool when you started bring an extra girl home for me but after 2 cycles of clap medicine I'm putting an end to it.
You should never talk to him again. Unless its you knocking on the door and punching his dick.
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
just ran into my father at CVS while buying condoms...he winked at me. I really need to move out of this town.
He's a college graduate, has an excellent job, and respects his family. To say nothing of his 8.5 inch cock. His narcolepsy not withstanding...I'm marrying this motherfucker.
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