i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
She has a facebook friends list called oops. theres 33 people in it. she said its all the guys she regrets fucking.
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
I wish I cared about making my vagina as presentable as you do.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Also I literally googled "how to fold socks" so that's how my day is going. How's yours?
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