My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
where am i from again
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
You peed in the parking lot while a car was was waiting behind us. And when people walked by you proceeded to say "careful you might slip"
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Weekend plan is a big bag of dope, delivery food, Bollywood marathon and masterbating my dick raw.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I'm sure it's not the worst thing to ever come out of my ass
I will not be held responsible for my vagina's poor judgment.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
And then she said "wanna make a vine of me twerking on the wall?"
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Randomize
