cant believe you said you would bone perez hilton
i said paris hilton
thats even worse
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
i just was bootyclappin in front of homeless men in a back alley
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
Seriously??? You send me boob shots with your husband and kids in them???
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
She unfriended me on Facebook after I responded to her long love note with #demtittesdoe. Jager is the goddamned devil.
I just remembered something. We made out last night, people cheered.
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
After everything I’ve done… had sex with people off tinder, gone to clubs and bars, gone to hockey games…. I get Covid at GRANDMAS HOUSE
Randomize
